you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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