Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize