He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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