Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I want is dick and wine.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
