just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
