If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
