you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
