If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize