so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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