you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
