omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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