$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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