WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize