I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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