My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
