come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
