After last night, I could never be a politician.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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