i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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