just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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