tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hippo gnu deer
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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