But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
