Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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