my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
