I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
