She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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