He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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