remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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