How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
