..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
