The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
