so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You are a genius and a whore.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
