would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
