so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
