Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
