i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
