I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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