States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
