i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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