He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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