My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
