You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
