Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
