please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
did you just send me my own nude
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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