my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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