I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
