Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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