So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
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Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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