I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
