I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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