yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize