she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
