Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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