white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
