you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.