Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
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I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.