Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high