Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she looked like the before picture.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
