I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I said "one day" and that day is not today
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
